Stranded
SadnessUPDATE: Am back home (our place was dry). About 70 people dead so far.
Operation Turtle Seal 3Chapter Three: The Monstrous Regiment Of Women (And their Accidental Commander)Operation Turtle Seal 3
AISEILAI FORTRESS, SOUTH OF LAGUEILA, 1:16:53 P.M.
Overlooking the courtyard of one of the most impregnable fortresses along the Lagueila-Southern Earth Federation Border is the adjutant’s office, where a captain of the Fire Nation’s 23rd Home Guard[1] Infantry Regiment, 3rd Battalion, was filling in some papers. She (women were admitted into the Home Guard as well as in the Nursing Corps and clerical services) was rather tall, slightly tanned with light blonde hair tied in a ponytail, and with a rather serious look on her face
Operation Turtle Seal 2Chapter Two: On A RollOperation Turtle Seal 2
“Light but good,” Destikim remarked as they finished their dumplings and set aside their empty bowls and chopsticks. Mind calling that waitress you were ogling at a while ago?”
“Oh shut up, man,” Staredcraft retorted as he summoned the waiter who had made the huge mess, who was now serving them. After writing down their tab, he handed it on a small leather booklet to Staredcraft, who noticed the scribbling below their total price tag:
MEET ME AT STOCK ROOM ASAP MAKE
THROW AWAY THIS BILL AFTER PAYING MAKE SURE ITS JUST 2 OF YO
Operation Turtle Seal 1OPERATION TURTLE SEALOperation Turtle Seal 1
Chapter One: Let's Eat Out For A While!
JASMINE DRAGON, BA SING SE, 10:26:15 A.M.
This morning was quite a balmy one by Ba Sing Se’s standards, and this was why on this day, the great and venerable teahouse was rather filled with lots of patrons enjoying their mid-afternoon or pre-lunch courses. Among them were two contrasting gentlemen: one reading the menu, wearing a brown leather jacket on a light-green shirt and brown pants, with a wide-brimmed hat hung on his chair, and another waiting patiently, wearing a black cassock with a brown sash and red apron-like scapular on it-t
Chronicles of Nickelodia 3BChapter 3.5: Nickelodiana (Or Some Basic Facts) As compiled by the Bureau of StatisticsChronicles of Nickelodia 3B
Nomenclature Formal name: Independent State of Nickelodia (English), Estado Independiente de Niquelodia (Spanish) Also known as: ISN, Nickelodia, Nick, “That dump” Capital:Nickelopolis
Geography Land Area: 426,000 sq. Km
Highest point: Klasky Peak (6441 m.) Lowest point: Fissure Valley (13m below sea level) General terrain: Mountainous north, with forested plains to the east and deserts to the south Territorial disputes with: MTV Networks for ownership of studio entr
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
--
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia
Faves hit YOU!!
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
[link]
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
"After a troublesome expedition into the chinese jungle, one of the men of the mission gets lost. Three weeks have passed and his only food has been some wild fruits and plants that he finds. Now, he is weak, tired and he has been sleeping inside caves or under trees.
One afternoon, he finds an old house between the trees, almost entirely covered by a huge vine. It's the only building in the area and the smoke that is coming out from the chimney indicates that the owner of the house is at home.
Without hesitation, he comes close to the house and knocks on the door. A very old chinese man, with a beard that almost touches the floor, comes out and greets him. Then, this old man asks the traveler: "What do you want?"
The traveler responded: "I have been lost for almost three weeks. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since then. I would thank you, eternally, if you could give me some food and a bed, only for tonight."
The chinese elder thinks for a moment and then says: "I will offer you food and I will let you sleep in my house, but with a condition: DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDAUGHTER"
The traveler was terribly exhausted and hungry, and accepted: "I promise that I won't cause any trouble to you. Tomorrow by the early morning I will leave"
"Very well, but if I ever discover that you didn't keep your promise I will apply you the three worst Chinese tortures that the world has ever seen!"
"Don't worry, you have my word of honor" said the man as he entered the house. Besides, he was wondering what kind of woman could live with such a cranky old man in the middle of the jungle?
That night, after taking a bath, the traveler went downstairs for dinner. It was there when he saw her. The grandaughter of the chinese old man was an incredibly beautiful young woman, gorgeous just like a pearl. He couldn't remove his gaze from her, neither she could from him.
After dinner and when everybody was in their respective bedrooms, the traveler came out from his bedroom and went towards the one of the grandaughter. He spent almost all the night with her, trying to remain as silent as he could. After finishing, he returned to his room, thinking: "man, after this heavenly experience, I'm willing to endure ANY chinese torture"
The next morning, he felt a terrible weight resting on his chest, and he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he discovered a huge rock on top of him. On one of the sides of the rock, an inscription could be read: "Chinese Torture 1: A 70 kilogram rock on your chest"
"What a silly and innocent torture!" he thought as he removed the rock and threw it over the open window.
Just before the rock abandoned his fingers, he could see another inscription: "Chinese Torture 2: The rock is tied to your left testicle"
The rock was already falling and the rope was starting to stretch... Desperate, the man decided to jump after the rock as he thought: "From this height, I will certainly break one of my legs, but I won't lose my nut"
He jumped and he was already in the air and falling, well past the window when he turned around to see that in the wall was a third inscription: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle, tied to one of the legs of the bed"
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
One time,a young lad returned to his home town, eager to tell his father about his experiences with his uncle, an undertaker in the city.
"So how did your stay go?' asked the young man's father as he bid his son to sit down and drink something.
"Oh, it went fine," said the son. "Not that much scary as I thought, but there is this one incident I won't forget..."
"What would that be?'
"One morning, Uncle got a call from the owner of a fancy hotel. He told them that there was a couple that had died in one of the rooms on the 15th floor, and they had some problems he might want to check out. So, uncle told me to wear those coattails funerary agents wear and so we went to the hotel.
"When we went to the 15th floor Uncle went to one of the rooms, and there, he saw a naked couple lying down on the bed, and he immediately noted the problem - the man had died without his erection going limp, and so being the quick thinker that he was, took his cane and hit the guy's penis."
"And What happened after that, son?" asked the dad.
"After that, all hell broke loose - you see, we were in the wrong room, and the man was still quite alive..."
--
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia
Faves hit YOU!!
OMG! That was certainly a good one!
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
[link]
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
Previous Page12345Next Page